Don't be Afraid

 

These may seem like scary, gross, smelly, disgusting, rotten bananas, but they're really a blessing in disguise.  They are a gift on Christmas morning.  A tiny, fluffy kitten.  A sweet....

Okay, I'll stop now.  But really, they are a GOOD thing because BLACK BANANAS means...

BANANA BREAD!!!!

I'm going to cut to the chase, but let me just say that if you've never had banana bread, you are missing out on a wonderful, wonderful thing.  Sometimes I let my bananas go bad just so that I can make bread.  Or I'll hide them when I'm home because I don't want anyone to eat them while I let them get browner and browner.  I know that my dad appreciates that, because he loves banana bread as much as I do.  Sorry, Dad, you can't have any this time because I'm two hours away, three by train.  Don't worry, I'll make some when I'm home in two weeks.

(Can you hide the bananas now, please?)

Okay, here we go.  I've been using and tweaking this recipe for many moons now, and I shall share it with all of you.

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What you'll need:

Salt, all-purpose flour, brown sugar, baking soda, yucky bananas, eggs, and a stick of butter.

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How to make it:

First, you want to soften the butter a little and throw it into a large mixing bowl.  When the butter is too hard for me to cream, I just put the whole stick into the microwave for a couple of minutes on each side, until it's soft but not melted.

Now, add 3/4 cups brown sugar into the bowl.  You don't have to add it one-quarter at a time like me if you have proper cooking utensils and an organized kitchen.  And I'm sorry that this picture is sideways; my computer and I are having a fight.

Cream the butter and sugar together until they are thoroughly combined.  Don't eat this, even though its delicious.  Amazing.  Sugary buttery goodness.  Really, don't eat it.  Don't... eat...

Well... I guess a little taste never hurt anyone.

Now, carefull peel your bananas and add the chunks right into the bowl.  Don't be worried about brown spots; it's okay! 

Also, this recipe works with almost any number of bananas; I've done it with anywhere from 2 to 5.  If you have 6, you should probably just make two batches, which is never a bad thing, right?

Smash up the bananas with a fork until there aren't any huge chunks; then, combine it with the butter/sugar recipe.

Add in your eggs.  If you want to go by the book, scramble them before you add them into the batter.  But we're undergrad gourmets here!  We can't be bothered with washing extra dishes.

We have 15-page papers on South Africa due!  And gay rights movements to research!  And Spring Weekend to celebrate!  Errr... yeah.  Homework.  That's why I can't wash dishes.

Now, pretend like there is a picture of me adding 1/4 tsp of salt, 1 tsp baking soda, and 2 cups of flour because my camera battery died.  Mix it all together until it is combined and looks like this.

Pour all of that yummy batter into a greased loaf pan, and stick it in the oven at 350 degrees F.  It can take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour, so watch the color on it towards the end, especially if you're using a terrible dorm oven.

Oh man.  Oh baby.  This is what you want it to look like.  To check for doneness, stick a knife down the center and see if it comes out clean.  In my case, it was actually not completely done in the middle, but I had places to be, so I took it out anyways.  It actually finished cooking while it was out of the oven.  So that works too.

Cut along the sides and flip the bread out onto a plate (don't burn yourself).  See?  I told you that rotten bananas weren't scary.  Does this bread look scary to you??

I didn't think so.

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Things you can do with your banana bread recipe:

• Add chocolate chips
• Add raisins
• Add Craisins
• Add marshmallows
• Add candy bars
• Add nuts
• Add berries
• Add any combination of the above
• Give it to your mom/dad/grandma/grandpa/sister/brother/aunt/uncle/boyfriend/girlfriend/best friend as a gift to make them love you more
• Keep it all for yourself, eat it all, and feel super guilty
• Eat it for breakfast after you heat it up in the microwave
• Put cream cheese on it
• Put whipped cream on it
• Put butter on it
• Put peanut butter on it
• Put Nutella on it
• Put all of the above on it

Or, my personal favorite (an idea courtesy of my aunt, uncle, and cousin in Florida):

• Bake the recipe in muffin pans and have everyone put their own favorite addition in a couple of them.  Or, just make tons of varieties all for yourself.  I don't judge!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some eati... err... studying to attend to.